Took forever, but just for the curious, my new DLL stuff finally works. Pretty cool actually, but since it is proprietary, I can't share exactly how it works. Just know this - it involves lots of macros and plenty of pre-compiler abuse and works great under both Borland C++ Builder and MSVC++ .NET 2003. I'm so proud I want to hug myself.
But I won't because that would look weird.